In the past, I have tried monogamous relationships, though I have never been successful. Nowadays, I’m more honest with myself about who I am. I think it’s better to be upfront about that at the beginning of a relationship to avoid the pitfalls of lying and cheating.
But even in non-monogamy, is there such a thing as a relationship free of lies?
People lie and conceal all the time in open relationships. Which points to something deeper going on . . . A deep-seated need for a double life. Why else would one lie when one’s been granted the freedom not to?
I don’t believe there’s such a thing as total transparency. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have dreams, fantasies, and reveries. We wouldn’t keep journals.
Total transparency is an ideal fed to us in our conditioning. But it is just that ā an ideal. One that leads to unrealistic expectations and feeling hurt when we’re lied to by a partner.
I’m realizing that even the most honest people I know keep secrets. And I’m working to broaden my understanding so I don’t feel hurt by that anymore.
Today, I’m working towards re-conditioning myself to understand that double lives are not a sin, but a necessity. Then I can move through the world accepting what I conceal and what is concealed from me.
And let’s be honest . . . there’s nothing more exciting and titillating than keeping a part of you that only ever belongs to you.
I believe when you own the double life precedent you created in the first place, it gives you solid ground to replace your own hurt with compassion and curiosity. And sometimes a double life is a lot simpler and non-invasive than ones imagination seems to navigate towards. Just a thought.
Keeping a secret, or the illusion of one is definitely a turn on. Partners will go to extreme measures to orgasm a secret out of you. šš š¦š¤¤
Look at history, people have been spies forever. Spies use everything to get secrets out of others. It is usually detrimental to the secret sharing person.
Keeping secrets is necessary for humans.
Learning to accept others secrets is even more necessary.
Sharing the occasional erotic fantasy is an exception to that.
Simply HOT!
It is like walking into a room and you accidentally come upon some one, or two or three who are intimately involved. They seem to enjoy the unexpected audience. It gets steamier and your fantasies want you to be involved. But! bu t.