Sometimes I think about women from times past who dared to be fully expressed in their sexuality and landed themselves in institutions.
All it took back then was for one man to claim that a woman was “hysterical” and her fate could end in a lobotomy.
I thank the universe that I live in a day and age where I can be bold and extreme and sexual… and any man who wants to call me inappropriate or insane merely fades into the noise of the background.
I feel so grateful to be unfurling my wings into my full expression — creatively and sexually. I live a life immersed in the erotic and I love the mysterious rabbit holes that this path takes me down.
I’m also incredibly grateful to be on the new cover of Playboy New Zealand, coming out on December 2nd.
Site members, share with me something you’re grateful for, for your chance to win a signed copy of this Playboy. If you’re not a member, sign up for a premium membership and see if you get lucky.
In the past, I have tried monogamous relationships, though I have never been successful. Nowadays, I’m more honest with myself about who I am. I think it’s better to be upfront about that at the beginning of a relationship to avoid the pitfalls of lying and cheating.
But even in non-monogamy, is there such a thing as a relationship free of lies?
People lie and conceal all the time in open relationships. Which points to something deeper going on . . . A deep-seated need for a double life. Why else would one lie when one’s been granted the freedom not to?
I don’t believe there’s such a thing as total transparency. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have dreams, fantasies, and reveries. We wouldn’t keep journals.
Total transparency is an ideal fed to us in our conditioning. But it is just that — an ideal. One that leads to unrealistic expectations and feeling hurt when we’re lied to by a partner.
I’m realizing that even the most honest people I know keep secrets. And I’m working to broaden my understanding so I don’t feel hurt by that anymore.
Today, I’m working towards re-conditioning myself to understand that double lives are not a sin, but a necessity. Then I can move through the world accepting what I conceal and what is concealed from me.
And let’s be honest . . . there’s nothing more exciting and titillating than keeping a part of you that only ever belongs to you.
I’m up in the Himalayas at the moment. I’ve been travelling around India for the past few weeks.
India is one of my favorite places in the world to explore! Each corner of this country is so vastly different from the next.
Being a tall, white, blonde in India, I’m growing accustomed to being stared at wherever I go and constantly asked to take selfies with people. Here I thought Americans were obsessed with selfies, but Indians take it to a whole new level! 🙂 (more…)